


stay

by starshipz



Category: Cravity (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:00:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23662744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starshipz/pseuds/starshipz
Summary: by the time jungmo fought hard for minhee's breath, he himself had unknowingly given up on his own life.
Relationships: Kang Minhee/Koo Jungmo
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	stay

it is one of those nights when jungmo would lay flat on his bed, his mind surrounded by hundreds and thousands of thoughts, those thoughts being either dissatisfaction or worry.

dissatisfaction with what he currently is. dissatisfaction with himself despite everything he's been through just to achieve this very point of his life.

worry over people surrounding him. worrying over a specific someone who's dear to him. someone he'd choose over fortune, fame or even the millions of other options there are. he lays flat on his bed, bothered by the thought of someone fragile he's protecting, slowly falling into something dark and that's the least thing jungmo wants to witness.

the weight on minhee's shoulders is too heavy.  
the burdens he's carrying have finally succeeded in mentally crushing him into pieces, causing sleepless nights in fear and in tears. he has been unresponsive to calls and messages for weeks, read them half a week later and only reply with a simple ‘i’m fine’.

but he isn't. it doesn’t help him when he's greeted in the morning by countless voice messages from jungmo who's worried sick and asking if he has eaten the day before. it doesn't help how he doesn't even find a tad bit of comfort through his friend's soft morning voice. it doesn't help as he has already fallen into something deep and dark, he doesn't want the only one who cares about him to suffer with him.

jungmo's train of thoughts was cut by a sudden ring from his phone. he unknowingly feels off, the anxiety he's been feeling since earlier grows bigger as he sees the caller's ID. he hurriedly grabs his phone and answers the incoming call with a heavy beating heart.

"hey?"

he's greeted by the caller's hard breathing, voice soft and trembling as he doesn't find the right timing to say the words he's been meaning to say. 

"minhee, are you okay? what's wrong?"

"it's nothing, hyung. i.. just wanted to hear your voice."

several questions clouded jungmo's head the moment minhee's ominous remarks faded into his ears. 

"m-minhee.. what do you mean?"

"i'm sorry hyung.."

jungmo stands up, his phone still on call as he grabs his jacket and heads out of his room. 

"minhee, where are you? are you at home? please tell me you're okay."

jungmo's voice starts trembling as he feels subtle yet strong beats from his chest. he's having a hard time breathing but it doesn't stop him from running towards his destination. 

"h-hyung i.. whatever happens.. i love you.. don't blame yourself.. and im sorry.."

consecutive beeping was heard from jungmo's phone signifying the other side has already cut the call off. jungmo runs the fastest he can, his speed matching the fast pace his chest is pounding. he wipes a tear that has fallen from his eye, hoping minhee wouldn't do anything to himself.

"kang minhee.. don't.. please don't.."

he arrives, his panting doesn't stop him in breaking down the door after a few kicks and punches he had given to it. he finds himself rushing upstairs as he opens minhee's door using his spare key, him keeping it as he knew it'll come in handy one day. 

he's greeted by minhee laying on the floor, his wrist has many deep cuts as blood starts to drip to jungmo's direction. he wanted to scream, but he didn't want to waste any time as he runs towards minhee and places his head on his lap, him brushing minhee's hazel brown hair with his soft trembling fingers.

"n-no.. don't do this minhee.. god i-"

he doesn't waste any second as he dials 911 in hopes for an ambulance to come as fast as it can. he throws his phone and places minhee's face between both of his hands, still admiring the pale but beautiful face he's so familiar with. 

he hugs what seems to be the lifeless body, as he cries out loud, still he knows no one would be able to hear his cries except for himself.

"don't die on me minhee. god i- please don't die on me, stay with me."

he looks once again at minhee's eyes and it suddenly opens slightly, enough for minhee to see jungmo's blurry figure. jungmo caresses minhee's soft face as tears fall on it. he bawls, looking sternly at the eyes of his beloved. 

"minhee minhee look at me. i'm here you're gonna be fine, oh god please don't die on me.. please minhee.. i.. i can't live without you.. i can't lose you.. please.. i won't forgive myself if you go like this."

\-----

weeks have passed since the said incident. the doctors fortunately had saved minhee, seconds before his life was supposed to be taken away from him. it was tough, subtle sighs were heard by jungmo while the doctor was talking to him but it didn't matter to him, as long as minhee's safe, he's okay with everything.

everyone is looking for that someone. that someone who would come but never go. that someone who would enter their life, and be the permanent fix on their temporary pain.

it's a miracle, and jungmo hardly believes in it but he still does. out of the seven billion people in the world, that someone is among them. it’s a matter of luck. it’s possible that 'the one' is yet to exist or is already in the last stage of their life.

jungmo denies, he chooses to deny that this applies to minhee. minhee's like the rainbow after the strong, scary storm. he's like the lucky four leaf clover in a meadow which is so rare to find. he believes he's that lucky to have found minhee, the missing fragment in himself.

and so he's afraid of losing him, especially when he's the answer to every question his mind has been asking.

and he's everything he's ever needed. 

with those weeks that have passed, he has been carelessly neglecting his needs, making the number of his already several sleepless nights increase. he keeps looking after minhee, hoping that any time soon he'll wake up and that he's there to witness when the love of his life opens his eyes.

jungmo sure blames himself. he thinks he didn't watch over minhee enough for him to be driven into this. he knows minhee has been abandoned since he was a kid. he knows minhee had been neglected several times. that's why he tried his best in taking care of him. but his best surely didn't help as he stares into the calm, fragile figure lying on the hospital bed. 

there isn't any label that was made. but surely there was something between them. both found comfort from each other but both were afraid of making commitments.

he holds onto minhee's hands as if he's holding onto his dear life, he caresses them against his face as he sobs quietly.

"wake up. wake up. wake up minhee. don't give up."

they were supposed to be in this battle together, fighting together against all odds but here they are, the other has given up and he's the only one left battling for the both of them. 

"minhee, remember we're still on an adventure, right? we're still halfway through. we still have a lot to go through. so please, it's still not the right time to take a rest, no matter how tired we are, we still have to fight. we're not done yet…"

he strokes his hand against minhee's soft pale cheeks as he prays, pleads and cries for god knows since when.

"i can't do this without you. we're in this together, right?"

it wasn't long until his eyes had finally betrayed him as tears that were waiting against his orbs had already fallen on minhee's hands. 

jungmo's a wreck. he hasn't eaten a proper meal nor had a sip of water. he hasn't slept properly for days.

he had a thought inside his mind. 

it's either minhee wakes up or he goes to where minhee is.

the creaking sound of the hospital's room's door doesn't break him from his pleading. he still holds onto minhee's hands while he looks down, still denying the reality of what's happening. 

"jungmo.."

he heard it but he chooses to ignore it as he already knows what his friends are about to say.

"jungmo.. it's been days.. weeks.. come on just have a bite of this.. we bought your favorite snack.." his friend woobin says as he sits beside jungmo who still doesn't bat him an eye.

"you know i'm not in the mood to do anything, right? convincing me won't work so i suggest giving up."

giving up. that's what minhee did.

"jungmo.. minhee wouldn't want to see you like this. eat up, at least go home for a while and take a shower. doll yourself up so at least you'll look presentable once he wakes up, hmm?" serim says, as he looks at his friend's eyes.

jungmo finds this unfair. there are a lot of people who care about him, who look after him but why.. why does minhee only have him? the person who's most worthy of every positive aspect in this world lacks it. he lacks love, and jungmo hates how minhee's much worthy of everything compared to him.

jungmo sighs as he lets go of minhee's hands.

"i'm gonna go home for a while and dress up like what you said. i'll also stop by minhee's house.. i'll just get clothes for him to wear. his white hospital gown doesn't suit him."

\-----

after jungmo has taken a shower and dressed up more presentable, he stops by the dull looking house with his heavy heart as he reminisces about last time's nightmare.

getting clothes for minhee wasn't his sole purpose to go there. he doesn't know what it is but he just had a gut feeling to stop by.

he stumbles upon a polaroid, laying at the corner of minhee's room. he picks it up and analyzes the photo, the memory of his 10th birthday flashes in his mind.

it was a photo of them both. their faces had icing, probably from playing with jungmo's birthday cake. both of them were smiling and there were no signs of despair on their genuine happy faces.

jungmo misses those times. much more, he misses minhee. he once again sobs, it has been a habit of him for the past weeks.

his phone rings, breaking the solemn atmosphere. he picks it up and sees serim as the caller's ID. he answers it immediately. 

"jungmo.."

jungmo's heart unknowingly races by his friend's tone.

"what is it? is there something wrong?"

"minhee.."

there was a long pause.

"his finger moved."

\----

"luckily, there aren't any serious damages. all he needs is to stay here for a couple of days as he needs to have treatments. i'll leave the three of you here."

the doctor leaves, the sound of the door closing echoes in the room.

"minhee, are you okay? do you need anything?" serim asks as he looks sternly at minhee's weak eyes.

"w-where's jungmo?"

nobody spoke. it was silent for a minute.

"woobin? serim? why aren't you answering? where's jungmo? i need to see him."

minhee attempts to sit up but woobin goes near him and stops him from doing so. 

"don't sit yet. you need to rest."

minhee looks at the both of them, eyes concerned as their faces were hard to read.

"you haven't answered my question yet. where is he? where is jungmo?"

"minhee.."

"don't say my name! just tell me where he is!"

serim and woobin looked at each other, their eyes were trembling as minhee looks at them in fury. in the end, serim decides to speak.

"he's gone, minhee."

minhee hears it but he's confused.

"w-what do you mean?"

woobin sighs, his tears falling from his eyes as he opens his mouth to tell minhee what happened.

"he had an accident when he heard that your finger moved and he was at your house. the investigation said that he drove fast, way too fast he.. he got himself into an accident. he was probably too tired, he wasn't attentive to his surroundings and only cared about seeing you.."

woobin wipes his tears before he continues. 

"he was dead on arrival, minhee. i'm so sorry."

minhee sat up straight, his hands were both shaking.

"no. you're kidding. this isn't happening. not him. not my jungmo."

his tears fall as he looks up, pleading and praying that this isn't real.

"i'm sorry minㅡ"

"stop saying that! it's not real! where is he? stop lying to me! i need to see him."

he removes the wire attached to his hand as he runs towards the door. but he was stopped by serim who's holding him back.

"stop doing this minhee. jungmo wouldn't want you to do this to yourself!"

minhee's knees have given up on him. he sits on the cold floor as he cries while burying his face with his hands.

"it's my fault. if i wasn't selfish, this wouldn't have happened.."

serim and woobin just watches minhee, letting him process everything that happened.

oh how cruel was fate to them. it was like they were made for each other but at the same time, they slowly broke each other.

"i can't live like this.. why.. why did i give up? why did you have to save me? i hate you so much, why are you so selfless.."

more tears have fallen from his eyes.

"i hate how loving you hurts this much.. why did it have to be like this.. i'm so sorry, jungmo.. i should've been the one in your place.."

he feels a hand over his shoulder, he looks at his side and he sees a very familiar polaroid serim is giving him.

"they saw this inside jungmo's car.. i thought you might need this."

it was the polaroid but it had something he has never seen before. it had something written on it. he touches the very familiar handwriting, as he feels his heart being stabbed a thousand times.

"seeing you in your state is worse than the slowest of deaths. i love you, minhee. please wake up, okay? ♡"

minhee once again sobs as he holds the polaroid and hugs it as he feels jungmo's presence with every letter he has written on it.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! let's be friends @starshipz on twitter ^^


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